Middle of Nowhere

Wondering for a second,
Hushing for a minute,
Thinking for an hour,
and numb,
for the whole day.

i wish i could understand,
i wish i could smile back in honest way,
i wish i could laugh as fullest as i can,
i wish i can wake up tomorrow with pure peaceful mind

but,
as leaves obey the Newton's Law,
as lamp alive as Ohm's Law lamp up,
as song synchronize his soul with Heinz' Law,
as sea wave haunted by Gravity's Law,

so do i,
still couldn't understand,
still faking the smile,
still halfheartedly laughing with others,
and still,
scared to the sun rise.

why my heart become so trembling,
why my wish still unprompted,
why my hand naked and lonely,
why my eyes slowly bursting,

my life just like an opera,
from one cast to another cast,
same body, different face,
same gesture, different act,
same fate,  different guys,
same heart, different places,
same wounds, different time.

it is not that i really love him,
it is just i want to give another chance to him to know me better,
and for me for being able to cure my hearts,
lighten up back my life,
put another sheets of stories into my life,
inspirational to others as bright future of love might appears if you have faith.

but now,
all just like diminish,
crash into dust,
burn into ashes,
and i am still
numb
for unknown length of time,
in middle of nowhere.