Good Morning Dear

Hello My Dear,Good Morning...
How are you today?
Please don't forget to take your breakfast.
I just took mine just now.
If you're still schooling,please turn this off. I want you to focus on the lesson. We'll talk later.Bye my love.

My First Message to you

Dear my kid,
I don't know how I get this idea to write this to you,but I do wish you in well condition right now,
Today is Thursday, 10.14pm,and I'm right now sitting at my chair;facing the tv,watching movie. I just finished my work today at the office. Not all work can be finished by the day,but nothing is more important than personal life.
One day,we will meet together, & I don't want to get too used by engrossing myself into work till I abandon you.
If one day,if let say I've been doing that,forgive me..
You might be wondering,whether do I already met your dad?
My answer would be: I don't know 😂😂
But right now,I've been dating with one man,same age as mine. His name is Khairul Izhar. He is engineer in Balfour Beatty. I'm engineer too,you know?😂😂
But I didn't choose him just because he is engineer.
Previously,I've been knowing many guys before knowing him,at all of them gave me deep pain.All I did,was loving them with certain mistakes.
Last time,I though,would be great if I can turn back time & not accepting/loving them,but now I realize that,making mistakes is okay for you to become better person. You won't know your trueself if you didn't made any mistakes.

Things I want to tell you is,
Whatever people been treating you either kind way or bad way,learn to embrace the differences surround you.Smile my dear.Always remember, that I always love you whether during good time or bad time.
If anytime that I scold you,do remember that no scold is to ruin you but to mould you into a better person.
So you won't be worst person I've ever known.
It's late here by the way,my dear.
Good night.
We'll keep in touch again later.
Love you.

Mind Puzzle of Today - 15th Aug 2015

Q:
You are joining new company & there are tendency of people might accepting & isolating you.
What will you do?
How do you feel if you're facing this situation?

A:
Fond & Hatred is part of emotion of living things.
Embrace it.
Besides, it's not first time if people isolating me.
#thanks to the memory

Something Happend to my Heart by A&T

met him n i know he's not serious with me..maybe because i was n still hoping that he might changed his mind..such naive of myself..seems God havent drop the luck yet...


Something Happened To My Heart
(English Version)

Even though I tell it not to go,
Even though I tell it to stop

My heart keeps going towards you
It doesn’t wear out, it doesn’t decrease

Why is my love like this
One by one, I count and count the memories

My heart can’t rest for even a moment
It’ll just become baggage that becomes hard to control

Why can’t I even throw them away
Really, my heart must have done something somehow

I must have become a fool that’s blind from love
Just one place, everyday one place
http://yuyaindou.blogspot.com

Looking at the sad light that is you
Even the tear glands must be broken

My tears won’t stop
I love only you, only you

Can’t you just tell me?
Even if I hold out my hands,

No matter how much I call out
You’re always far from me

It’ll be a love that becomes painful scars
Why can’t I erase it

Really, my heart must have done something somehow
I must have become a fool that’s blind from love

Just one place, everyday one place
Looking at the sad light that is you

Even the tear glands must be broken
My tears won’t stop

Just one word, the one phrase that you love
Can’t you just tell me?

I try to comfort myself with the lie
That I’m happy if you just smile

Because the place you’re going towards is not me
The lonely tears flow
yuyaindou.blogspot.com

Really, my heart must have done something somehow
I must have gone crazy over this hard love

Can’t have you, can’t forget you
Waiting for you day by day

I must have gotten ill from missing you so much
From loving you too much

Just one thing, your heart, that one thing
Can’t you just share it with me
Can’t you love me

work stressness

hopefully i can finish my job by today..damn so stress...no boyfriend to share the pains...gaah...am i really desperate? urmm...i dont know lol....

share the pain with family is kinda put more flame into ashes..

share the pain with close friends..hrmmm..they tooo got problem..

share  pain with God,well i never hear he is directly speaking to me..

keep this alone..seems growing more virus and tantrum...while brain keep.thinking of suicide..

Dying or not..

My chest pain still trying killing me..not sure because of working in air-conditioning environment, or something else. Am i going to die? Not sure though. I wish I do, but as I'm writing now, so means that I'm still alive.

Apart of that, I missed mom really much. But seems she's hurted inside her heart with me; regarding to what had happened last weekend. I don't know what to do now. I just feel that die is better than living. I really dont get it, why I am still alive??? I'm not a good daughter, not even good sister, lazy worker, unfaithful servant to Allah, so why I'm still alive???I wish someone will save me from all these dilemma.

And now,NONE.

           Dear Allah, I am writing this, as I know that you're the one who will read this, not others. 

I know that I already being forbid from suicide, and due to that I'm not going to suicide. 

Can I die in happy way?If I died due to cancer, or accident, my mom would probably suffers more and I don't want that happened.

I'm not sure whether die before my mom or my dad or my brother is a wise decision, but now what I feel now is I'm suffering deep in my heart; thinking of leftovers memories, and also, I know, it's useless to turn down more weight, it's useless to pray to meet soulmate as I know I am kind of bitch deep inside mysoul, so to get good soulmate is never going to happen right?

The One who Dissappointing me is...ME!!

The one who disappointing me is me, not my exs. Because they can move on and I'm the one who is stuck with those feeling.

If not mistaken, I already prayed to Allah so that I am able to move on without having rebound or what so ever. But seems still not granted yet since the wounds suddenly swollen.

Dear Allah,
I am not angry at you since you always give me the best part in my lives.
I just want to get over these feelings,
I dont ever need this feelings any more.
I want to be happy.
I deserves happiness
Please, remove this feelings ASAP.

Best Regards,
Atika