Cheat sheet to my future-unknown-hubby..

Song of my hearts for today:

I am  not seeking a person who does have the life, 

but a person who is appreciate the lives, 

A person who have a life; they always see the empty puzzle of their lives meanwhile ignoring the available puzzles, as per that, they tends to feel unsatisfied with everything,

A person who appreciate the lives, they know there are some spaces in their lives, and yet they're not ignoring the parts which are already there. 

Empty space?

They're still searching the missing piece but not getting it is not frustration as others remains completing him because, million (1,000,000) cannot be made without '0' and '1' and not just simply starting with 10 or 100 at the beginning. 

And this is one of parts that all guy i knew and met that they're lacking at.

They tends to struggle in lots of things; politics, status, BMW, and etc. 

Mean while, what can I see from them is an empty mission. 

Like a garden with flower, without leafs. 

A flower with good soil and water, yes it can grow well but does it seems imbalance since without leafs?

When you appreciate your life, 

you're not sure whether this is last day of your breathing, there fore  you're going to give your best in everything including love and appreciate people around you as much as you can,

when something is not par with your measurement, you're not going to be down and giving it up but you're find another way or path and continue your lives,

even you have to go through the pain parts, you take it as a good medicine; making you as a better person; where not other people can make it but you're the chosen one to prove it to other that you're different . 

Different people is like one of the branches of a tree, even though from the same root, same soil source, but nature of lives is when all branches grow and live in different path.

Masked Heart

 

i know, 

and admit,

love,

flirt ,

(head to toe)-scanner-ism,

lovey dovey,

is root of me now,

Some people pfewwit!

some people smile,

some people disgust,

some people speechless,

some people leave too,

but me, 

still here, deep under the mask

colorful of joker,

en-coloring others,

but yet,

less they know,

how hurt the wound inside,

facing the scar,

i would said these names:

Fikril, Rahim, Afif, Hisyamuddin, Ashraf, Shahril, Annas, Marwan

and i already convinced and believed too,

that those names are just red silk in a dream,

softly touch your skin of heart,

and once dream's gone,

they gone.

where the foot dew,

where the trust flew,

where the love rust,

and where too,

the life is must,,

As love has being deniable admit,

As love has being starvation

As love has being stabbing the heart,

and as it is,

Mind,

Staggering,

Struggling,

Shattered,

and stuttered,

So there is,

A masked heart,

Keeps the shadow enlightening the sands,

Keeps the wound curing the worms,

Keeps the pain rainbow-ing  the pals,

I wish this pain stop, but

i cannot wish the history to be turn back and on,

as i am the history of my own

*The poem is representing my feeling; of being misunderstood by my office-mate, whereby, they always taught that I'm such a person always changing feeling towards guys. Meanwhile they don't know how long for me to take my time to bear a pain as a sister of handicapped brother where no guys are brave to come forward to share the pain of lives together. i do can smile in front of them ,and pretending that I'm such a playgirl. meanwhile, my shattered heart is in-cured, and still afraid of falling in love again.