Masked Heart

 

i know, 

and admit,

love,

flirt ,

(head to toe)-scanner-ism,

lovey dovey,

is root of me now,

Some people pfewwit!

some people smile,

some people disgust,

some people speechless,

some people leave too,

but me, 

still here, deep under the mask

colorful of joker,

en-coloring others,

but yet,

less they know,

how hurt the wound inside,

facing the scar,

i would said these names:

Fikril, Rahim, Afif, Hisyamuddin, Ashraf, Shahril, Annas, Marwan

and i already convinced and believed too,

that those names are just red silk in a dream,

softly touch your skin of heart,

and once dream's gone,

they gone.

where the foot dew,

where the trust flew,

where the love rust,

and where too,

the life is must,,

As love has being deniable admit,

As love has being starvation

As love has being stabbing the heart,

and as it is,

Mind,

Staggering,

Struggling,

Shattered,

and stuttered,

So there is,

A masked heart,

Keeps the shadow enlightening the sands,

Keeps the wound curing the worms,

Keeps the pain rainbow-ing  the pals,

I wish this pain stop, but

i cannot wish the history to be turn back and on,

as i am the history of my own

*The poem is representing my feeling; of being misunderstood by my office-mate, whereby, they always taught that I'm such a person always changing feeling towards guys. Meanwhile they don't know how long for me to take my time to bear a pain as a sister of handicapped brother where no guys are brave to come forward to share the pain of lives together. i do can smile in front of them ,and pretending that I'm such a playgirl. meanwhile, my shattered heart is in-cured, and still afraid of falling in love again.